Unwilling to give away!

It is funny how you think you have control of something in life and then suddenly realize you just made a mess of things. Something as such has happened to me. I thought my feelings about a particular someone is in control. We came to a practical conclusion of just remaining friends and I thought I was happy with the idea only soon to find myself dwelling in piles of regret. In order to show how ‘cool’ I was with the idea of just being friends for life, I even introduced this person to someone new. Well I thought genuinely at first that things will work out great but then to this extent and so soon, I hardly expected and now I am not happy.
To see my Knight in shining Armour slip away from my fingers that to because he is falling for someone I would think of is beneath me is totally depressing. (I know I sound egoistical but then what can I do?) Suddenly I want to be like the witch of the west and bewitch him to fall head over heels for me laughing wickedly as the other girl cries. Then I wake up and realize I can’t be like that neither can I hurt my friend. Was I to do anything stupid not only will I loose his friendship but I will lose one of my six pillars.
But why does it have to be me? Why should I be that good friend who waits in the corner playing the role of a well wisher? Why can’t it be my turn to blush hundred times when my cell screen blinks my guy’s name while my friends tease me? Why can’t I be that one whom a guy wants to call in the night or be possessive about me?
I could have handled it but then when they keep sharing their feelings about each other with me and tell me what fun things they were doing, I just want to crawl to a comfy spot with a bowl of ice cream and cry my eyes out. To even say that after reading this he will come to me is a hyperbole because he does not read let alone read blogs. And luckily or unluckily she is too dumb to understand that this implies her.
Thus I have no option but to play the well wisher sitting in the corner. Hopefully it isn’t at their wedding cause then I will definitely go bonkers.